Lamentations X

(formerly Untitled 18, penned 12-24-1999 and was supposed to be sent to somebody. hindi ko naipadala.lagi ko namang hindi napapadala...)

a raindrop rigged its way down my rufescent eye,
encapsulating condensed, cataclysmic pain...
the droplet paved way to outpouring rain,
of hurts I hide but can't contain

pain unspeakable, unspoken - ravished me,
shattered me - ruefully
the slow smiles you carved at the curve of my mind,
in no way outweigh
my bleeding anguish you'll find

your day by day absence in my life,
is a day by day death deep down inside.
each day, the pain multiplies,
as my multiple pin-pricked heart quietly cries...

in my peter-pan world i slowly fade,
in one teary lake i helplessly wade -
the lone figment that anchors my will to survive is the faith:
that you will be mine,
if not now, some time -
if not here, somewhere -
in a place where i fearlessly paint my starflowers - green,
and my crescent sun - radiant blue,
in a place where eternal present is between me and you
my cheri, i tearfully
and painfully
and intensely
miss you...